Let’s be real: self-care in difficult seasons rarely looks like the Pinterest-perfect moments we imagine. When life is heavy—whether that’s a sick toddler, burnout, or just the relentless swirl of mama life—the way we care for ourselves needs to shift in ways that sometimes surprise us. And honestly? That’s okay. I want you to know you’re seen. Because in these seasons, the old self-care “rules” don’t apply. I remember the exact moment when my toddler got sick, and suddenly the long walks and peaceful reading I once cherished felt impossible. Instead, I found myself just trying to keep up, knowing that looking after myself was more important than ever—not just for me but so I could be there for him.
This is my honest story of how self-care in difficult seasons changed for me. Along the way, I’ll share gentle, practical ways you might find your own rhythm in the mess, drawing on insights from my experience as an early childhood educator. Together, let’s soften the mama pressure and find care that truly fits your life right now.
When Your Usual Self-Care Just Doesn’t Cut It Anymore
There comes a point in motherhood where the self-care habits you once leaned on just don’t fit anymore. Before kids, my mornings looked like peaceful runs followed by a hot cup of tea and a quiet moment to breathe. Now? Self-care is a quick skincare routine—on some days, it’s just sunscreen slapped on before running out the door. And when a difficult season hits, even that can feel out of reach. Some days, my only pause is two minutes of quiet on the toilet, and yes, I count that as self-care. In early childhood education, I’ve learned that children’s needs ebb and flow with their development — they thrive when the environment adapts to their rhythms. The same goes for us mamas. Just like we adjust teaching to fit a child’s current stage, we have to adjust self-care to meet where we truly are, not where we wish we were. Self-care has to be flexible, bending to what life looks like right now. And most importantly, it helps to remember this is just a season. It won’t always be this way. So if your tea goes cold or your book stays shut, it’s okay. Survival care still counts. If you’ve ever struggled to find balance as a busy mama, you’ll know how important it is to accept those changes, rather than fight them.
Giving Yourself Permission to Let Go of Perfection
Mama guilt is a sneaky little monster. I craved alone time desperately, but the constant pull of wanting to be present with my boy made me feel selfish for needing it. That tension — wanting silence but fearing missing out — kept me stuck. What helped me was borrowing a mindset from teaching: celebrate progress, not perfection. We don’t expect children to get everything right every day, so why expect that of ourselves? Letting go of the “perfect self-care” idea opened the door to gentle, realistic care — like sipping tea quietly for five minutes or closing my eyes while listening to the him play. If you ever feel stuck in that guilt cycle, you might find some comfort in practicing short self-care breaks, which for me have been tiny pauses that made a difference even on the craziest days.
Practical Self-Care That Meets You Where You Are
When my usual self-care rituals vanished, I had to rethink what caring for myself really meant. Maybe it was extra vitamin C and oranges to boost my immune system when sickness hit, or grabbing naps alongside my toddler. One thing I’ve learnt, through years of observing children’s individual needs, is the power of responsiveness — tuning in and responding kindly to what’s really needed in the moment. Some days that meant rest; others, a walk outside; sometimes, just a quiet cup of tea. If you’re searching for simple ways to care for yourself that don’t require hours, I often find ideas like embracing the ultimate Hygge experience or adding simple self-love tips bring gentle, effective comfort.
The Hidden Power of Connection
You might already know about co-regulation from parenting — how children calm when they’re close to a calm, responsive adult. But here’s the thing: we need co-regulation too, especially when we’re deep in difficult seasons. As much as we crave solitude, sometimes what restores us most is connection. For me, it’s been the simple things — sending a voice note to a friend, having a cuppa with someone who gets it, or even just admitting out loud, “today was hard.” Those little moments of being understood can soothe the nervous system more than any fancy self-care ritual. In early childhood education, I see daily how children borrow calm from the adults around them. And I’ve realised we mamas do the same. Our relationships become anchors that regulate us when life feels overwhelming. Self-care isn’t always about carving out solo time — sometimes the bravest, kindest act is letting ourselves lean in, ask for help, or simply sit in the company of someone who makes us feel safe. That kind of emotional self-care is just as vital as sleep, food, or skincare.
Embracing Your Emotional Seasons
In early childhood, rhythms and cycles guide everything — from sleep to moods to growth spurts. Children thrive when we notice these shifts and adjust the environment around them. That same truth hit me hard as a mama. My own emotional seasons mattered too. Some days, survival mode was all I could manage; others, I had the energy to lean into more intentional self-care. Once I started observing myself the way I’d observe children, everything softened. I gave myself permission to rest on the low-energy days and to do more when I actually had the capacity. That shift was life-changing. It’s a gentle reminder that self-care in difficult seasons isn’t about forcing the same routine every day — it’s about listening closely and responding with kindness to where you’re at right now.
Finding Strength in Asking for Help
When life feels overwhelming, it’s tempting to keep pushing through on our own. I used to think asking for help meant I wasn’t coping, but the truth is the opposite: it takes strength to admit you can’t do everything. Letting others step in — whether that was my partner taking over bedtime, a friend dropping off a meal, or even a colleague sharing the workload so I could breathe — didn’t make me weak. It made me human. And it reminded me that caring for myself meant letting go of the “supermama” myth. In teaching, I see every day how children thrive in community — they’re supported, regulated, and nurtured by the people around them. We’re no different. What kids really need from us parents isn’t a mama who never takes a break; it’s one who is cared for too. Sometimes self-care means leaning into your village, even when it feels uncomfortable, because support is part of survival.
Celebrating Every Small Win
Here’s something I remind myself often: in hard seasons, every little act of care counts. Five quiet minutes. Choosing fruit over another coffee. Surviving the day without snapping. These aren’t “small things” — they’re victories. Self-care isn’t about perfectly ticking boxes or following a rigid plan. It’s a mindset shift — choosing progress over perfection. Just like with children, we celebrate their small steps because they add up to big growth. Why not do the same for ourselves? Looking back, I realise the moments that brought me back to myself weren’t grand or polished. They were ordinary — yet powerful. [The things that make me feel like me again] remind me daily that the simplest acts can reconnect me to who I am beyond the chaos.
You Are Stronger Than You Think
Adjusting your self-care in difficult seasons isn’t weakness. It’s resilience. It’s the quiet bravery of showing up for yourself in whatever way you can, even when everything feels heavy. You are not falling behind. You are doing enough. More than enough. When overwhelm creeps in, remember that even the smallest pause fuels your strength. Be gentle. Breathe. Lean on the people who love you. And keep trusting the power of care that’s tailored to your life right now — not someone else’s idea of what it “should” be.
And if you’re needing more heart-centered but practical ideas, you might find [5 ways to practice self-care without extra time or effort] helps you rethink what’s possible in your current season.
You’ve got this, mama. Truly. I’m here cheering you on, tea in hand, every step of the way.
Want more honest mama talk and gentle self-care ideas? Join my newsletter — it’s more than just a tea break, it’s a little pause for you with real stories, fresh encouragement, and practical tips to help you through the season you’re in. Pop your name on the list and let’s make sure your cup feels a little fuller each week.
Survival care still counts. The smallest pauses can carry the heaviest seasons
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