Self-care for busy moms is crucial, but as a busy mama, it can be challenging to find the time. Have you ever had one of those days where you’re running on empty, and your child picks up on every bit of your stress? Yep, I’ve been there too. Let me tell you a little story about a day that should have ended peacefully but didn’t—because I forgot one crucial thing: to take care of myself first. It was a regular Tuesday. I’d just wrapped up a busy day at work, running from one task to another, mind spinning with everything that still needed to be done. By the time I picked up Oscar from kindy, I was a bundle of nerves. But he? Oh, he’d had a fantastic day! He was full of energy, his smile wide and cheerful. But the second we walked through the door, it was like a switch flipped.
Suddenly, everything seemed to be too much for him. His beloved dinosaurs—the ones that usually capture his attention—just weren’t cutting it. Instead, there was running, shouting, and a general sense of chaos. Bedtime? A complete struggle. It took what felt like forever to calm him down enough to sleep. And honestly, I wasn’t calm either. We were both caught up in this whirlwind of energy, feeding off each other’s emotions. Looking back, I know what happened. I brought my stress home. Oscar, being the little sponge he is, picked up on my vibes and became overstimulated. I should have taken just five minutes to gather myself, to bring my nervous system back to calm before stepping into ‘Mama mode.’ But hey, hindsight is 20/20, right?
How Co-Regulation Impacts Your Child’s Well-Being
So, why did this happen? It’s all about co-regulation—a fancy term for how our emotional states influence each other. In early childhood education, we see this concept play out all the time. When a child is upset, our calm, steady presence can help soothe them. Similarly, if we’re frazzled, they sense it and often become more dysregulated. Teaching Strategies in Action: Think of those times in the classroom when a child is having a meltdown. As educators, we don’t just tell them to calm down; we model calm. We get down to their level, speak softly, and breathe slowly, inviting them to match our rhythm. It’s the same at home. If we want our kids to be calm, we need to be the calm.
Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: Filling Your Cup
We’ve all heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” but it’s one of those clichés that’s actually true. When we’re running on fumes, it’s impossible to be fully present, patient, or responsive. And kids? They can sense that tension a mile away. Understanding the science behind self-care can make it easier to prioritize in our busy lives. As Dr. Laurie Santos from The Happiness Lab explains, even small acts of mindfulness can have a profound impact on our well-being. When we take a moment to breathe and reset, we’re not just calming our own nervous system; we’re also modeling this behavior for our children. Similarly, Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, reminds us that ‘what you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.’ This is especially true when it comes to self-care for busy moms.
Practical Tips for Balancing Your Well-Being
We’ve all been there—running from one activity to the next, feeling like there’s no time to breathe. But self-care for busy moms isn’t about finding hours of free time; it’s about making the most of the few minutes you do have. Here are some practical tips to help you balance your well-being :
- Create a ‘Reset Ritual’: Before picking up the kids or starting dinner, take five minutes to do something that helps you transition. Whether it’s a few deep breaths, listening to your favorite song, or just sitting quietly with a cup of tea, this small step can make a huge difference.
- Use Visual Cues: Place a sticky note on your fridge or a reminder on your phone that says something like, “Breathe before you step in.” These small prompts can make a big difference when you’re rushing from one thing to the next.
- Teach Kids About Emotions: Use simple language and stories to help your children understand feelings. For example, you can say, “Mama is feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a deep breath. Want to do it with me?” This not only helps them see you as human but teaches them valuable self-regulation skills too.
- Find Your Support System: Whether it’s a friend, partner, or online community, having people who ‘get it’ can be a lifeline. Share your struggles and victories, and remind yourself that you’re not alone in this journey.
- Prioritize Sleep: This one’s huge. It’s so easy to stay up late to get a few extra things done, but sleep is foundational to everything else. Try to create a bedtime routine that signals your body it’s time to wind down—dim lights, a good book, maybe even a cup of chamomile tea (my go-to!).
It’s Okay to Be Human
Remember, you don’t have to be the ‘perfect’ mama. There will be days when you’re tired, stressed, or just plain over it. And that’s okay. What’s important is recognizing those moments and taking small steps to care for yourself. Because when you’re well, you’re better equipped to help your kids navigate their own ups and downs. So, let’s raise a cup (of tea or coffee, your choice!) to making our well-being a priority—not just for us, but for the little ones who look up to us every day. We’ve got this, one deep breath at a time.
Ready to take the first step? Try creating your own ‘reset ritual’ this week and see how it impacts your day. And remember, we’re in this together, learning and growing one day at a time.
Prioritising self-care means showing up as the calm our kids need
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