Some days, I look in the mirror and don’t even recognise myself. Not in a dramatic way – just in a “where did she go today?” way. The woman who had dreams and plans and rituals… lost somewhere between toddler tantrums, work emails, making lunch, and cleaning up the crumbs for the fifth time before 10am. I’ve realised feeling like myself again doesn’t come from waiting for a big break or a quiet weekend alone (though that would be nice). It comes from tiny moments – ones that remind me I’m still here, still me, even on chaos days. Here are five things that help me feel like myself again.
Morning Tea – My Slow Start Ritual
Before motherhood, I always started my day with tea. I’d sit by the window, wrap my hands around the mug, and watch the world wake up. Now, mornings are anything but slow. There’s a toddler asking for breakfast right now, bags to pack, shoes to find. But even on the busiest mornings, if I take five minutes to sip my tea slowly – even if the peace isn’t there – that warm, soothing drink brings an aaaah feeling. It’s not about having a quiet moment. It’s about tasting something that feels like comfort, like me, and feeling ready to begin again. As an early childhood educator, I see how children thrive on morning rituals. Whether it’s a favourite cup, a hello song, or checking the weather, these anchors give them emotional readiness for the day. We’re no different. A simple tea ritual grounds my nervous system and reminds me I exist beyond getting everyone out the door. This is just one example of how self-care doesn’t always need extra time or effort – it can be woven into what’s already there.
Reflection Prompt: What’s one simple ritual you can bring back to your mornings, even for just one minute?
Planning or Dreaming About the Future (Briefly)
Sometimes, in between the mental lists of nappies to buy or what’s for dinner, I pause to think about my dreams. What did I want before becoming a mama? What do I want now? Even if those dreams have shifted – and many have – thinking about them reminds me I’m not just surviving each day. I’m still journeying forward, growing, changing, making small moves towards what matters most. In teaching, I’ve seen how goal-setting builds children’s confidence and identity. When they say, “I want to build a tower taller than me today,” it’s more than play – it’s purpose. We’re the same. Dreaming, even briefly, reconnects us to who we are beyond the to-dos. It reminds me that confidence doesn’t always come back in big leaps; sometimes it’s built moment by moment, dream by dream.
Reflection Prompt: When was the last time you paused to think about your dreams – even the tiny ones?
Going Outside for Fresh Air
Before my little one, I’d walk barefoot on the beach at sunrise or hike quiet trails at dusk. Now, it’s toddler scooter rides, playground negotiations, and sprinting to stop them running into the road. It’s different. But the fresh air still brings me back to myself. There’s something about feeling the wind on my face, seeing the trees move, or watching the clouds that reminds me I’m part of something bigger than today’s worries. Even if my outside time is filled with “watch me mama!” every two seconds, that breath of fresh air reconnects me to life. It tells me I’m still here, still breathing, still me. I think about how we always take children outside to reset. Nature calms their nervous systems and regulates their energy. We forget it’s just as important for us too. Finding balance as a busy mama isn’t about getting it all right – it’s remembering to step outside and breathe.
Reflection Prompt: When was the last time you stepped outside just to breathe in the air and feel it on your skin?
Writing a Quick To-Do List or Brain Dump
When I feel scattered, like my brain is trying to hold a hundred tabs open at once, I grab a pen and paper. Writing a quick to-do list or brain dump clears the fog. It’s like, “Oh, there I am. Here’s what matters today.” Organisation brings me back to my identity as someone who thrives on clarity and direction. In early childhood, visual routines and planning boards help children feel safe and capable because they know what comes next. For us, a brain dump does the same. It gives cognitive relief, emotional safety, and a sense of control we often lose in the rush of motherhood.
Reflection Prompt: Would a quick brain dump help clear your mind today, even just scribbled on a scrap of paper?
Snuggling My Child Without Rushing
Some mornings, I sit down and just hold my little one. No “just wait” or “I have to do this first.” Just a simple snuggle. I feel their warmth against me, and in that unhurried moment, I can almost sense their little cup filling up – and somehow, it overflows into mine too. I’m reminded that I’m not just a task machine. I’m human, loving, feeling, existing. As an educator, I see how cuddles co-regulate children’s big feelings. When we snuggle them, we’re giving them emotional safety – but we’re also giving it to ourselves. That connection grounds me in love, purpose, and the part of me that exists beyond productivity.
Reflection Prompt: When was the last time you snuggled without rushing off to do something else?
Other Tiny Ways I Feel Like Me Again
These aren’t big, life-changing self-care acts. They’re small, simple touchstones that remind me I’m still here. I’m still me. Even on days that feel like too much. These are my five anchors, but there are so many other tiny ways to feel like myself again. Things like smelling my favourite essential oil, singing out loud in the car, writing one sentence in my journal, or stepping outside barefoot for a moment. Changing my clothes midday, putting on lip balm or hand cream slowly, splashing cold water on my face, or making a ‘fancy’ drink like iced matcha or lemon water can shift my energy too. Sometimes it’s taking a photo just for me, sending a loving text to a friend, stretching for 30 seconds, doing 10 squats to wake up my body, or lying down with my eyes closed for two minutes to simply reset. It’s never about doing them all. It’s about finding the ones that feel like you. The ones that bring you back to yourself, even for a moment, so you can keep going feeling a little more grounded, a little more whole.
Remembering Who You Are
When we feel lost in motherhood, it’s not because we’re doing anything wrong. It’s because we’re giving so much of ourselves every single day. Late nights, early mornings, constant questions and worries – they pull pieces of us in so many directions that we forget there’s a person underneath it all. And some days, it all just feels so loud – the noise, the needs, the invisible mental load – leaving little space to hear our own thoughts or feel like ourselves. But these small moments aren’t selfish. They’re how we keep showing up – not as burnt-out versions of ourselves, but as the women and mamas we want to be. They remind us we’re still here, still human, still whole, even when the day feels heavy.
💛 What’s one small thing that helps you feel like yourself again on chaos days? I’d truly love to hear it – because when we share these moments, we remind each other we’re not alone in this.
If your days have been feeling overwhelmingly loud lately, I hope you’ll join my newsletter. It’s more than just another email – it’s a tea break for your mind and heart. A little pause in your week to feel seen, supported, and reminded that you’re still you, even on the hardest days.
Feeling like yourself again doesn’t come from finding extra time – it comes from finding tiny moments that remind you you’re still here.
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