When I became a mama, a long-time dream came true. As an early childhood educator, I thought I was prepared, fully expecting to cherish every moment with kids, just like everyone said I would. But no one warns you about the moments that don’t feel cherishable—the sleepless nights, the endless crying, the exhaustion that settles into your bones. I remember longing for those picture-perfect newborn cuddles on the sofa, only to find myself pacing the room with a colicky baby who refused to settle. The guilt crept in fast—shouldn’t I be soaking this all in? But the truth is, motherhood isn’t about loving every single second. Some moments are hard, some feel never-ending, and some, quite honestly, we just want to get through. And that’s okay.

The Pressure to Cherish Every Moment | A Reality Check

We’ve all heard it: Cherish every moment because time flies. But is it realistic—or even fair—to expect ourselves to cherish every single moment? If I’m honest, there were days when sleep deprivation hit hard, my little one refused to eat, and the endless crying left me feeling helpless. On those days, I just wanted bedtime to come so I could rest and recharge. Then came the guilt, a voice in my head whispering, You’ve always wanted this; shouldn’t you want time to stand still? But real parenting doesn’t always match up with the idealised moments we see on social media. As I adjusted to motherhood, I realised that my maternity leave wasn’t going to last forever. I felt this intense pressure to make each day special, to create memories that would last. But that pressure itself became overwhelming. The same way many of us struggle with mum guilt and the weight of trying to do it all, the idea that we should be cherishing every second adds another layer to the mental load.

Why “Cherish Every Moment” Can Lead to Burnout

In early childhood education, we encourage kids to explore and be in the moment, but we don’t expect them to feel joy constantly. I realised I needed the same approach as a mum. It wasn’t about making every moment special—it was about allowing each day to just be. Giving myself permission to let go of creating the “perfect” memory opened up a sense of relief. I could breathe a little easier, knowing that some days are about getting through, and that’s okay. This shift in mindset reminded me of something I explored in It Takes a Village—But What If You Don’t Have One? Even when we do have support, the pressure to be fully present, make every moment meaningful, and capture picture-perfect memories can feel exhausting. But what if we gave ourselves permission to experience motherhood without those expectations?

Finding Joy in Real Moments

One turning point for me was recognising that my moments of joy didn’t need to look like anyone else’s. For example, those cosy newborn snuggles on the sofa just weren’t happening for us; my little one had colic and needed constant movement. Instead of trying to recreate some picture-perfect scene, I embraced what worked for us—long walks on the beach, with him finally calm as the waves rolled in. Yes, I was exhausted, but those walks became our cherished moments. They weren’t planned or forced; they were simply ours.It’s the same approach I take now when I think about self-care as a mum. Some days, it’s a quiet tea break during nap time. Other days, it’s stepping outside for fresh air while my toddler plays beside me. The beauty of finding joy in motherhood isn’t about making every second magical—it’s about noticing the little moments that naturally bring peace, even in the chaos.

A Teacher’s Perspective | Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations

As a teacher, I know the power of allowing children to explore and lead. I began applying that same philosophy to motherhood—letting go of rigid expectations and focusing instead on small, authentic connections. Cherishing moments didn’t need to mean clinging to every second. Instead, it became about finding gratitude and peace in the real, unfiltered parts of our day-to-day lives. This shift also made me think about how we often strive for balance in motherhood, yet feel like we’re constantly falling short. What if we redefined balance, not as perfectly managing everything, but as allowing space for the highs and lows? Some days, we have the energy to soak in the moment, and other days, we’re simply doing our best to get through. Both are valid.

Giving Yourself Permission to Let Go

When I finally let go of the pressure to cherish every moment, I found something unexpected: genuine peace. Parenting isn’t about a constant stream of joy; it’s about being present, open, and kind to ourselves. If you ever feel guilty for not loving every moment, take heart: true connection is about presence, not perfection. So let’s release the pressure and savour the moments that matter most to us. I’d love to hear from you—have you ever felt the pressure to cherish every moment? What’s a small, real moment that brought you joy recently? Drop a comment below and let’s chat!

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Motherhood isn’t about cherishing every moment—it’s about being present for the ones that truly matter.

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