You’ve likely heard sayings like “Mums should have sticky floors, piles of laundry, and happy kids” or “Kids won’t remember the clean house, but they will remember the time spent with them.” While these quotes are well-meaning, I don’t fully agree. Not only do I thrive on a tidy environment (one of my mantras is “outer order, inner calm” from Gretchen Rubin), but I believe it benefits the children too. Research shows that children’s behavior is influenced by their surroundings. In the teaching world, we often refer to Reggio Emilia’s principle that “the environment is the third teacher.” Today, I want to explore the other side of these quotes and share my thoughts on how we can achieve both: balancing chores and quality time with our children.
The Benefits of a Clean Environment
A clean and organized home offers psychological and developmental benefits for both parents and children. Studies show that a clutter-free environment can reduce stress and anxiety, fostering a sense of calm and focus. For parents, this calm allows us to be more present and engaged with our children, which can lead to more meaningful interactions. For children, a tidy space can lead to better behavior and improved learning outcomes. In our home, balancing chores and quality time isn’t about perfection but about creating a nurturing environment where everyone can thrive.
The Struggles of Balancing Chores and Quality Time
Let’s be real – finding the right balance between chores and spending time with my almost 2-year-old is a constant challenge. I haven’t found my groove yet, and it’s often trial and error. Every child is different. For instance, I can’t prepare dinner while Oscar is around because he doesn’t play independently. Meanwhile, other children might happily play on the kitchen floor while their mum chops veggies. The key is figuring out what works best for you and your family—whether that’s creating a flexible routine, involving your children in chores, or letting go of perfection.
Strategies for Balancing Chores and Quality Time
Creating a Flexible Routine
I love routine, so the word “flexible” can be a bit daunting. However, allowing room for change is what works best. Children thrive on routine but also want things to go their way. Striking a balance between structure and flexibility can do wonders. Involve your little ones in household chores to give them a sense of ownership and cooperation. This way, you spend time together while getting things done. For more tips on handling overwhelming days, check out my Regain Control Email Series.
Prioritizing Tasks
Identify what truly needs to be done this week or even today. Prioritizing tasks gives you a clear view of your goals and increases the likelihood of completing them. Strive for “good enough” rather than perfection. Maintaining a level of order without aiming for an immaculate home can be more achievable and less stressful. To help with this, try my Create Your Own Happiness Worksheet.
Incorporating Play into Chores
We all struggle with time management and ensuring we spend enough quality time with our children. Why not combine the two by making chores fun? Turn laundry folding into a dance party or play games while you clean. These activities not only make chores enjoyable but also allow you to bond with your little ones. For more ideas on integrating self-care into your daily routine, download my Self-Care Guidance Worksheet.
Mindset Shifts: Letting Go of Perfection
Stop comparing yourself to others and let go of the idea of perfection. Focus on what works for you and what level of cleanliness you want in YOUR home. Everyone has different standards, but make sure your space is comfortable and conducive to thriving for everyone, including you. Balancing chores and quality time is an ongoing process, and it’s okay to have off days. Experiment and find what works best for your family.
Conclusion: Finding Your Own Groove
Balancing chores and quality time with your kids is not only possible but also rewarding. Remember, it’s an ongoing journey—perfection isn’t the goal, but progress is. Embrace flexibility, prioritize what’s important, and find ways to make chores enjoyable. Most importantly, take care of yourself along the way. If you have any tips or strategies that work for you, please share them in the comments below. Let’s support each other in this journey of parenting and personal growth.
I hope you found this post helpful! For more resources to help you find balance and happiness, explore my Resource Library. Don’t forget to share your tips in the comments and spread the love by sharing this post with your friends!
Finding balance in your parenting start with finding compassion with yourself
dr Laura Froyen
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